Lately I have been feeling particularly grown up. And not in the adult-y, have-it-all-together, house-is-picked-up, kids-are-dressed kind of way. But in the Grown-up Wow-I-really-have-to-keep-my-cool-and-not-break-down, kids-really-depend-on-me-to-take-care-of-them kind of way. It’s weird. When I look in the mirror I still see teenager me. Maybe a little more tired and a few more pounds… oh yeah and the baby on my hip! I still feel so young. And not young as in so-much-energy, can-go-all-night. Young as in don’t-know-what-I’m-doing, should-anyone-really-trust-me-to-raise-two-children.
Does anyone else feel this? I know I definitely did not feel ready to be a parent when I got pregnant. I also was confused that the hospital people just let me go home with a baby when I had Jem! “Do they really realize that I am just a baby myself?? This is a tiny human! What do I do with this??”
Of course, I have learned a lot since then. I am not the same person that walked (read: waddled) out of the hospital 1 year and 9 months ago. However, I still don’t completely feel qualified.
Does anyone else feel this way? I heard a quote once, “Behind every great kid is a mom who is sure she is screwing it all up.” I am just praying that is true! Because my kids will be perfect if it is!