My life so far

You know, I’m pretty happy.

My life isn’t perfect. I have made some mistakes, and I continue to make mistakes, but I’m learning to be okay with that.

My life is messy. It’s hard and frustrating and stressful. Sometimes I feel like I’ll never get anything right. Like everyone around me is succeeding where I am failing, and I can’t fix what is going wrong.

But…

My life is also beautiful. It is amazing and joyful and full of love. I have so many people in my life that I care about and that care about me. I have a God who never gives up on me and loves me unconditionally.

When I look between those two lists… the first one is about all my insecurities. The second is about my relationships. It’s funny how wrapped up in my own little world I can get. Once I start to open it up and think about anything outside of myself, life is better. I’m a little more confident, a little more sympathetic, a little more loving.

It can be very hard to do that at times. I read well-meaning blogs about how I should take time for myself, especially as a mother. Which is true, but I take it a little too far and start to focus on only myself. All of my relationships suffer, which drives me deeper into my selfishness. It us a truly vicious cycle

This post isn’t supposed to be a profound enlightenment or anything. It’s just a daily reminder of how I should be living.

Thanks for reading!

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